Geek joke
Dear Microsoft Technical Support,
I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded
from Girlfriend 7.0 to
Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began
giving unexpected errors and
also took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
This wasn’t mentioned
in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0
installs itself into all
other programs and launches during system
initialization where it monitors
all other system activity.
Applications such as Boys Night Out 2.5, Rugby
4.0, Golf 9.0 and Cricket
5.3 no longer run and crash the system whenever
selected. Attempting to
operate Saturday Sports Bar 6.3 always fails but
Saturday Shopping 7.1
runs instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in
the background while
attempting to run any of my favourite applications. I
am thinking about
going back to Girlfriend 7.0 but uninstall doesn’t
work on this program.
With regards,
Desperate Joe
THE REPLY FROM MICROSOFT:
———————————-
Dear Desperate,
This is a very common problem resulting from a
basic misunderstanding.
Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0
thinking that Wife 1.0 is
merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.
Whereas Wife 1.0 is an
OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its creator to
run everything.
You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and
still convert back to
Girlfriend 7.0 as Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this
and it is impossible
to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from
the system once
installed.
Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or
Wife 2.0 but have
ended up with even more problems (See in manual
under alimony support and
Solicitors fees).
Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I recommend
you keep it installed and
deal with the difficulties as best as you can. When
any faults or problems
occur, whatever you think has caused them, you
must run the C:\ I
APOLOGISE program and avoid attempting to use
the * Esc-key.
It may be necessary to run C:\ I APOLOGISE a
number of times but hopefully
eventually the operating system will return to
normal.
Wife 1.0 although a very high maintenance
program can be very rewarding.
To get the most out of it consider buying additional
software such as
Flowers 2.0, Chocolates 5.0 and the most effective
Diamonds 9.0. DO NOT
under any circumstances install Secretary
36.24.36 (Short skirt version)
as this is not a supported application for Wife 1.0
and the system will
almost certainly crash.
And very importantly, if you are in the Asian zone,
in no case try to
install the FREE software (Mother-in-law 1.0) that
comes with Wife 1.0
operating system. Installing the software would
lead to more system
errors, like sudden virus attacks (Headache 2.5)
and Not Responding
messages from Wife 1.0 operating system.
Thank you for using the program!!!
With Regards,
Microsoft technical support.
