Tika’s Blog

Dear Microsoft Technical Support,

I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded
from Girlfriend 7.0 to
Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began
giving unexpected errors and
also took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
This wasn’t mentioned
in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0
installs itself into all
other programs and launches during system
initialization where it monitors
all other system activity.

Applications such as Boys Night Out 2.5, Rugby
4.0, Golf 9.0 and Cricket
5.3 no longer run and crash the system whenever
selected. Attempting to
operate Saturday Sports Bar 6.3 always fails but
Saturday Shopping 7.1
runs instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in
the background while
attempting to run any of my favourite applications. I
am thinking about
going back to Girlfriend 7.0 but uninstall doesn’t
work on this program.

With regards,

Desperate Joe

THE REPLY FROM MICROSOFT:
———————————-
Dear Desperate,

This is a very common problem resulting from a
basic misunderstanding.
Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0
thinking that Wife 1.0 is
merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.
Whereas Wife 1.0 is an
OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its creator to
run everything.

You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and
still convert back to
Girlfriend 7.0 as Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this
and it is impossible
to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from
the system once
installed.

Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or
Wife 2.0 but have
ended up with even more problems (See in manual
under alimony support and
Solicitors fees).

Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I recommend
you keep it installed and
deal with the difficulties as best as you can. When
any faults or problems
occur, whatever you think has caused them, you
must run the C:\ I
APOLOGISE program and avoid attempting to use
the * Esc-key.

It may be necessary to run C:\ I APOLOGISE a
number of times but hopefully
eventually the operating system will return to
normal.

Wife 1.0 although a very high maintenance
program can be very rewarding.
To get the most out of it consider buying additional
software such as
Flowers 2.0, Chocolates 5.0 and the most effective
Diamonds 9.0. DO NOT
under any circumstances install Secretary
36.24.36 (Short skirt version)
as this is not a supported application for Wife 1.0
and the system will
almost certainly crash.

And very importantly, if you are in the Asian zone,
in no case try to
install the FREE software (Mother-in-law 1.0) that
comes with Wife 1.0
operating system. Installing the software would
lead to more system
errors, like sudden virus attacks (Headache 2.5)
and Not Responding
messages from Wife 1.0 operating system.

Thank you for using the program!!!

With Regards,
Microsoft technical support.

Found this very nice tips and trick to load websites faster in mozilla-firefox, however pardon me if it doesn’t work in windows. Have fun trying it.

Type on the the address bar:

about:config

Then in the filter bar type:

network.dns.disableIPv6 (change to true)

network.http.pipelining (change to true)

network.http.pipelining.maxrequests (change to  

network.http.proxy.pipelining (change to true)

I realised, that it’s not clear what operating system (OS) i was talking about on my last post. Therefore, i feel like i need to explain it a little bit more. My linux is Ubuntu 5.10 BreezyBadger with KDE interface. Ubuntu OS with KDE is also know as Kubuntu. Another interface support for Ubuntu is GNOME. They are the same OS with different look and feel.

Ok, i have to admit, i’ve been lazy lately to write my blog. It doesn’t realy matter yo! got more important things to do, such as fixing my linux ;). Yes, since i have to deal with this "scary" OS alone, i fixed couple problems and guess what i am linux lover now.

The great things about linux is the communities. They are a lot of people out there ready to help you and they are actually very very friendly knowing i am a newbie. So far, i got helped my kubuntu to access my other partition, mplayer works properly and installed firefox-updated version.

Some other stuffs i figured out my self (partly followed the instruction from the website) like installing java SDK, JRE and web browser-plugins (i need it for my yahoo chess). Then i figured out how to change user permission, created root passwd and learned new commands.

Today when i turned on my pc, KDE won’t start. The first thing got into my mind: oh shit, i am fucked. So i graped my iBook and started surving. Guess what, it’s fixed within a second. It’s unbelieveable how linux communities work. I am getting more and more convinced of linux and if i could, i would convince people to use linux over windows.

Windows bothers me, the way i can’t change a line in a script to optimize an application for example. Also the way each applications run their own library instead of sharing it, is not efficient. It slows down the system. Last but not least, it costs hell lot of money for a big crap. Compare it with ubuntu (free OS) or macosx (not free, but cheaper than windows) you actually get more of useability.